Victory in my Kalye: Thoughts on Being a Filipino

As Filipinos, we have our own individual versions of sob stories that we hold dear.  We hear it everywhere, we see it everywhere.  It is visible to the naked eye in real time in the streets, where human lives proliferate in the heat of our tropical country.  We hear it in jeepneys, eateries, pricey restaurants, clubs and bars.  We see it in local TV, whether glamorized in movies or telenovelas, or in prime time news.  The whole nation is wrapped up in a collective sob story of the downtrodden, the down on luck, the oppressed, the poor.  We are the poor unfortunate souls, the dregs in the continent that is rising back to power.

My teacher told me that it is an interesting study on our culture that the personal-issue switches and buttons that ignite our self-pity are beauty, wealth and intellect. It might take a Christian counseling degree from quality online Christian colleges to sort it all out.

And why not?

Since March 16, 1521, the war between the brown man and the white conquistador has been in play up until now.  Obviously, because of our fertile land, Juan (who was later given the surname Tamad) has trusted in the good grace of our Lord to provide for his basic daily bread and needs; this gave him little incentive to work like a horse.  This inherent quality of Juan has been spat on by the well-meaning Spaniard (who has experienced the hardships of winter most probably as a serf in the faraway kingdom of Spain).  And the same well-meaning, God-fearing, arts and sciences worshipping, patrician-nosed Spaniard came to look down on carefree, tree and sun worshipping, kinky-haired, pug-nosed Juan.

But despite the disparity in the Old-World-approved standards of beauty, intellect and process of creating wealth, not to mention the mores and norms of the mighty conquistador, Juan still felt the human indignation of being frowned upon to the maximum level, not to mention being evicted from his own God-given land.

War ensued.  Battles have been won, lost, sold, bought, kept under the covers, forgotten and written in history books, to be memorized by rote by indifferent school children who now buy the notions of the global community.

And yet, unawares, the battle between the white man and the brown native still rage deep inside us.  We have been raped, if not physically, then emotionally and verbally, and we try to keep up a brave face and soldier on in the global community.  Many of our fellowmen have won.  But even more still suffer.  I remember the statistics recently pointed out by a highly intellectual friend:  22% of us are middle class, 77% live in poverty and illiteracy, 1% bask in wealth.  Who comprises the 77%?  What is their history?  What force glues them there?  And the 22%?  Many are climbing the material ladder by working like dogs, leaving most of the good stuff they learn through their own efforts in order to survive and “be happy”.  And what of the 1%?  How many in the 1% are spreading their good fortune to the world?  THIS IS NOT TO DISCREDIT THE GOOD DEEDS DONE BY PEOPLE FROM ALL PIECES OF THE NUMBER PIE (special mention to my idols:  Efren Penaflorida, Illac Diaz, Miguel Syjuco, Charice Pempengco, Heidi Mendoza, Clarissa Ocampo, the sincere public and private school teachers, the truly just lawyers, the homemakers (male or female) and the many unsung heroes, many of whom are in my circle of friends and I’m sure in yours too, who relentlessly help themselves and inspire those within their kalye). The question is, why, despite the blessings of the tropics are we still holding on to our sob stories – whether we belong to thin slice, the 22% or the whopping 77%?

It is cultural.  It is in our conditioned nature.

[caption id="attachment_299" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="My book-loving version of my nationalism"][/caption]

And yet, the gift of the ruthless conquistadors is Jesus.

Jesus, whose name the ancient powers that were used to claim our lands and rape our women, is the same name we invoke in our need.

Our sob stories when lifted to the unwitting Weapon used to pilfer our lands and our souls do not go unheard.

How many sob stories have turned into sweet victories?  I am not only talking about the travel-magazine advertisement of the Filipino people that despite the deplorable living conditions and inner turmoil  are still able to eat, drink and be merry.    I am talking about quiet, substantial real life triumphs over the sad histories of  endless family conflicts and the resulting inner turmoil and social chaos, the prejudices felt from our version of the caste systems and the exhaustion from the collective pain the country has felt ever since Juan Tamad and Maria Peninsulares intermarried (or should I say, ever since Padre Damaso heard Capitana Ines’s confession).

There is hope.  In prayer, we supplicate, we send out to the universe our plea.

It begins with hope.  And the world shifts into our tiny kalye.  We look at our problems in terms of beauty, wealth and intellect STRAIGHT IN THE EYE.  If we choose to be honest and face the pain and not buy into the contradicting ideas of working like a horse and being fatalistic.  If we relentlessly face our fear and tell the now invisible conquistador in our brain (that sends us these text messages:  you’re no good, you’re lazy, your ugly, you’re destined to be poor and eat scraps, you don’t work hard enough, you’re a son of a white/brown bitch) that what happened in 1521 in Limasawa or Butuan was Lucifer’s ploy of turning God’s people into unbelievers and we’re no longer buying it. We can transcend our painful history, and make our dear sob story a short introduction into our own individual versions of victory against all odds.  With tenacity and in the middle of challenges, let’s walk the talk with faith and not fear of the ancient conquistador’s sneers.  Let’s win the battle in our personal lives and win the war that started in 1521 or ever since Eve ate the apple.  Perhaps in our own way, we can shed light on the 77% and like the heroes, dead and living, lauded and unsung, help in the collective healing of our land.

It is possible and it has started and it is continuing, despite the many inner wars that happen.

I’m writing this, because as a Filipino who has suffered the culturally existential debates in my brain (borne by real life situations worthy of this December’s MMF entry and perhaps it may go to the Sundance and/or Canne Film Fest), and suffered alone, I reclaim my birthright of greatness and joy not only as Juan Tamad and Maria Peninsulares’ Filipino offspring but most of all as God’s child.

If we were misguidedly usurped in the name of God, it is now time to reclaim our birthright.  I believe that when we do this persistently despite the challenges that will lie ahead, we help others do the same.  Makibaka!  Let’s fight the good fight!

©*Me*

Raser Project: Junk Art Genius

Does junk in your backyard, storage or house drive you crazy?  It does me!!! Clutter is unbelievably frustrating!  There's the sorting, the disposing, the storing, the sentimental values attached to it, or the plain laziness of thinking what to do with it.  Surprise among surprises when I had the honor of meeting a junk artist par excellence in Butuan City (110.1 kms, some 5 hours away from Cagayan de Oro City, 214.8 kms from Davao City).  I was amazed at what Ronald Serapio, a businessman and an undeniable junk art genius, could do with unwanted scraps of old hairdryers, flashlights, keyboards, cpu's and computer mice (?!) (mouse units).  It was amazing how Ron's could skillfully piece together odds and ends and with the magic of spray paint,  create robot models that are eye candy to both art enthusiasts and droid fanatics.  While appreciating the large collection of junk art showcased in GSubd Bar (located in Guingona Subdivision), I was thinking that this guy deserves recognition for the work he does (really Discovery Channel material!) and thought of how he could inspire young children (and even older ones) to recycle and create treasures out of trash.  With Ron's permission, here is email address, should you wish to contact him (news networks, Ron's junk art is newsworthy and kid friendly, too!)  RONALD SERAPIO, JUNK ARTIST, BUTUAN CITY raser_33@yahoo.com.

Here's a sampling of Ron's amazing junk art, but these are absolutely best seen on site.

[caption id="attachment_182" align="aligncenter" width="580" caption="a larger-than-life robot displayed on GSubd Bar's counter"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_184" align="aligncenter" width="580" caption="Another larger-than-life bumblebee robot with a fellow tourist fooling around"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_185" align="aligncenter" width="580" caption="a bumblebee robot on the dancefloor"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_186" align="aligncenter" width="580" caption="a miniature bumblebee robot"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_187" align="aligncenter" width="580" caption="a medium sized motorcycle model made of junk"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_188" align="aligncenter" width="580" caption="a small yellow motorcycle model made of a computer mouse"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_189" align="aligncenter" width="580" caption="another motor-mouse in blue "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_190" align="aligncenter" width="580" caption="there's a creature in the printer! all parts are made from this discarded printer"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_191" align="aligncenter" width="580" caption="a medium sized blue and red optimus prime"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_192" align="aligncenter" width="580" caption="That's my son and Ron looking at the 10-minute robot which they both made. The robot's name is Electricity Bill."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_193" align="aligncenter" width="580" caption="A closer look at bill. It doesn't take a scientist to guess what materials Ron and my son found; but it does take imagination and creativitiy to come up with Bill."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_194" align="aligncenter" width="580" caption="Bill can shoot up to the sky with - fluorescent starters! hehehehehe and check out his weapen lol, get it? weapen??? "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_196" align="aligncenter" width="580" caption="my son enjoying the amaaaazing showcase!"][/caption]

Nurtured Heart 3: Hands-On, Sensory Nurturance

[caption id="attachment_294" align="aligncenter" width="225" caption="Fruits brought by children for their sensory activity"][/caption]

 

 

 

I attended a lecture today on child development from conception to 7 years old.  It was actually a review on the principles of child development.  It was an exercise in humility and patience actually, because the concepts could be read at the flip of psychology and education books.  I'm glad I attended because listening to a lecture has a different, more distinct energy compared to reading in solitude.  In listening to a lecture, there's a shared energy among the participants which seems to say "We're all in this together."  Having taught, studied and read about child development for 17 years, it seems like I know children like the back of my hand.  But then again, no.  Teaching is a very dynamic vocation and everyday seems like a new day.  But there are days and periods when the teacher experiences a lull in the routine.  This is when refreshes courses such as lectures ignite the dying embers of inspiration.  Although I finished 3 cups of coffee to keep me alive during the seminar, I was reminded of important principles such as the need for children to explore their environment (of course with the close but non-intrusive supervision of caring adults) and have sensory experiences of lessons taught (pictures, flashcards and explanations are not enough - there has to be a direct sensory knowledge of the concept taught).

There was one question by a participant that was pivotal and relevant to the teacher-participants there:

"How do you suggest teachers deal with overprotective parents?"  (The context in exploration of nature outside the classroom and sensory experiences.)

The speaker answered with such wisdom:  "Early childhood education is parent education."

Hear, hear to that! (Might I add, the business of early childhood education goes hand in hand with educating oneself!).Sometimes, parents and grandparents and even we, ourselves, though we all mean well, protect their young ones too much at a cost.  Children need to explore their environment, especially nature.  Studies show that children exposed to the (safe and natural) outdoors develop a stronger immune system and awareness of the world.

As for overprotective adults - another answer given by the younger facilitator was just as wise:  "Find out why they are overprotective."   When a teacher finds out the reason for over-protection, it is easier to counsel the parent on the advantages of exploration and assure the parent that we are in tandem with them in their child's development and the children's safety are foremost on our priorities.   Safety should supersede EVERYTHING.  With this in mind, we can begin to allow children to explore.

Aside from exploration, sensory experiences on concepts are also important.  Just as Hellen Keller learned about water only when she felt running water through her hands, we, teachers, have to create a safe environment where children can learn about things through activities.

I'm posting pictures of two bowls full of fruits and vegetables brought by my students for our sensory activity on fruits and vegetables.  The lesson was integrated with language, science and math.  The content of the language lesson was adjectives and descriptive phrases; asking questions to stimulate critical thinking: ("Why should we wash fruits and vegetables before eating?"  "Who are the people in the house who can use knives?")   For science it was the senses: we see with our eyes, feel with our hands, taste with our tongues (of course I asked the parents' permission for the children to taste/eat the fruits brought to ensure the safety of everyone lest one of them was allergic to a particular fruit or vegetable); fruits and vegetables come from plants.  We also counted the number of fruits and vegetables brought and counted the number of fruits and vegetables that were alike.  The children had an enjoyable time holding, weighing, smelling and yes, tasting the fruits and vegetables they brought.  It was learning and interaction at its simplest and best - and it encouraged the young picky eaters to try out new and healthy options!

[caption id="attachment_288" align="aligncenter" width="225" caption="healthy veggies, too!"][/caption]

 

 

Yummy Sunday: A Mother's Day Treat

Last Sunday, May 8, was Mother's Day and my family and I ate at Bigby's Cafe where portions are whoppers and the food tastes out of this world.  I ordered my favorite Deep Sea Pasta (bottom left) - but found that my allergies acted up (boohoo, me!) - I left my antihistamines at home.  My brother ordered heavy meat samplers (forgot the name) and my mom had seafood kebabs... For desert we had the delectable Oreo and Cream (I still prefer their Midnight Dream Cake - sigh... craving for it now).  Aargh! Looking at this picture makes me hungry again! Happy YS everyone!

[caption id="attachment_177" align="aligncenter" width="580" caption="Mother's Day Dinner"][/caption]



 

My Nurtured Heart 2: The Power of Reset

[caption id="attachment_280" align="aligncenter" width="225" caption="Howard Glasser's Book - a must read for parents, teachers, everyone!"][/caption]

It's been a week since I reported to my co-teachers Howard Glasser's book "Notching Up the Nurtured Heart Approach".  With all the present-moment awareness I could muster, I try to use the NHA in dealing with my son and my students.  Like I said on my first post on the NHA, the hard part is applying the approach on oneself, especially at times when we feel down for one reason or another.

Good thing I've injected in my mind the power of "reset".  What is a reset, you might ask.  Reset is another word for "time out" - or in my own words, it means "back up, rewind, start over again."  It means  to"give yourself a chance to restart... to start anew."

In Notching Up, Howard Glasser encourages everyone using the NHA to reset oneself as often as possible... There is no limit to the number of times one can reset oneself (or even the children in your charge).

When we, adults, feel down, we are more prone to acting out or simply reacting to the situations around us.  This makes us victims of whatever circumstances we are in.  Thus, we react in ways that hurt others and ourselves.  But the beauty of the reset is that it gives us another chance to start anew.  The key is to be forgiving and let go of punitive ways of thinking... Indeed, the NHA challenges us to turn away from old patterns... When we make mistakes, we are prone to self-recrimination.  But as we have learned, nursing the overwhelming guilt over past mistakes is a waste of time and energy... Yet, it is a reality... But with prayers and self-awareness, we can DELIBERATELY CHOOSE and be open to God's grace of forgiveness and start anew moment by moment.

A personal mini-story:

Yesterday, I was feeling lethargic as I went about my morning.  But thankfully, my class went well and I was able to respond to my son's needs... By lunchbreak, all I wanted to do was sleep, but the sleeping quarters were a mess.  My son left the pillows, blankets and a mesh of other things strewn in the small space.  With all the good strength I could muster, I asked my son to keep the things as I'd kept them before he used the room.  I was on the brink of letting off a strong current of battalion commands, but thank God I kept my cool.  I wanted to thank my son, but my exasperation got the better of me.  I simply told him that I need to nap.  When I woke up for the next half of the working day, I felt better and went back to the NHA and truthfully pointed out his small victory in arranging the things and expressed my now-real gratitude.  There went my reset which needed the assistance of a nap. :)  Good job, me, job well done!  God bless my NHA! <3

Gimme a Happy Ending Cliche

I passed on to my best friend the news/rumor that her boyfriend since birth, Leonardo di Caprio, is the hottest bet (if not the surest) for the role of Jay Gatsby in Baz Luhrmann's adaptation of The Great Gatsby which will come out in the big screen on 2012 (sigh, let time fly please!).

My best friend was excited over the prospect of another Leo movie and asked me what The Great Gatsby was all about.  I led her to my other blog where I wrote about the book (as a summer reading suggestion, together with Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood).  At her request, I didn't give spoilers of Leo's future film, but I did spill the magic beans on Norwegian Wood.

After ending my paraphrased version of Murakami's "most erotic" novel which ended in the hero's love interest's suicide, my best friend frowned: "What kind of a story is that?  I'd take the cliches of happy endings anytime.  Where did I read it?  I guess from Wayne Dyer it was, saying that we mustn't read or watch the news (with all its negativity) - it'll only bring us down."  Sigh of relief. Right she is.

After pondering the mysteries and miseries of life, I'm ready for a happy ending, no matter how cheesy the story line... Goodbye for now, Murakami, Fitzgerald and Wei Hui.  I'm going to Disneyland and switch back to my sappy Asian dramas.

 

Beautiful Garden

My son and I moved back to our part of the house before my mom arrived from her 3 week vacation.  During the 3 weeks that she was away, part of our house (the one adjacent to our living room and quarters) was undergoing a major repair.  Most of the house was blanketed in dust (what with the gravel, cement and tile-cutting, etc.) so we moved to my mom's third level area which is across the old area, both buildings separated by a small private playground.

What I loved most about my mom's room is her balcony garden where I'd have an outdoor lunch.  Overlooking her balcony is a park outlined by cherry blossom trees, gifts to our city from the Japanese government at the end of World War II.  At the time I took this picture, only a top patch had delicate pink cherry blossoms on the tree.

Hey Sistah, Sole Sistahs! Muchos Gracias!

Aside from Asian dramas, books and a caboodle of other things, I absolutely love shoes!  Lucky for me, I've got soul sistahs who are shoe giving sole sistahs too!

In the past 6 months, I received about a dozen pair of shoes and slippers from friends and relatives all over the world, no kidding!  I got Franco Sarto, DKNY, Puma, Rockport, Havaianas and others all wrapped with love in my doorstep!

Anyway, here's what I've been wearing to walk the dusty roads on this warm summer season.   I'm sure my shoe benefactors have been wishing me to go to the best places in the beautiful shoes they given! I feel like dancing for joy! :)

 

[caption id="attachment_268" align="aligncenter" width="484" caption="L-R Top-Bottom: Havaianas, Sueño de Espadrilles, Roberto Vianni Flats, Franco Sarto Wedges"][/caption]

I just received this new pair of Havaianas from a friend who loves to go flea market hunting in Long Island, New York.  Perfect fit and perfect gift for the summer.  I bought this comfy pair of (my perfect) pink Sueno de Espadrilles with abaca insoles last September at their Greenbelt 5 stall at the price of P650.00.  The Roberto Vianni Flats are from my aunt in Canada whose passion for shoes rivals Imelda Marcos's (peace, auntie!).  The brown Franco Sarto wedges are also from New York... I wore the Sarto wedges last weekend and man, did they test my endurance after years of wearing flats and sneakers! But the heels did force me to be in my best posture, and they made me feel extra feminine (minus the froufrou) too!

 

RT: Twizzlers Nibs (Licorice, My Love!)

[caption id="attachment_165" align="aligncenter" width="580" caption="Easter Treats "][/caption]

Today is still the third week of Easter so it's not too late to say Happy Easter!!!  Here's my Ruby Tuesday post after a long blogging interruption.

I loooove licorice candy (especially Twizzlers) which is literally not sold in my part of the world, so joy upon joy when my mom brought this for me after a vacation abroad... I love how licorice reminds me of my childhood  - I used to call it a "burnt tire" with its dark color and rubbery texture and "weird" (anise-like taste).

I like how my mom included a "Jesus" sun catcher art activity for my son. Very timely for Easter.  :)

Happy RT one and all!!!

My Nurtured Heart 1: Happy Heart

[caption id="attachment_260" align="aligncenter" width="225" caption="Goodies brought by my mom from her trip to the U.S. Notching Up is the book at the upper right hand corner, beside Cinderella Ate My Daughter"][/caption]

I'm back after a hiatus from the blogosphere and now I'm ready to type away!

I'm adding a new category in my blog:  My Nurtured Heart Diary which will chronicle my journey on applying the Nurtured Heart Approach in the classroom (I'm a teacher by profession) and at home.

On her first trip to the United States last April, my mom attended a seminar entitled Empathic Therapy.  One topic of the seminar was how to deal with children with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder) without prescribing medication.  In the recent years, ADHD has been the buzz word in schools the world over and "identifying" the problem has helped a lot, and yet it has put a great number of children under needless medication.  Although the pills (Ritalin, etc.) may have subdued the hyperactivity of children diagnosed with ADHD, this recourse did not help in getting to the bottom of the problem.

My mom, who is also my boss, assigned me to read "Notching Up the Nurtured Heart Approach", a book lovingly written by one of the speakers in the Empathic Therapy Conference.  Howard Glasser, the executive director of Children's Success Foundation (Tucson, AZ) and the author of the book, is the forerunner of the Nurtured Heart Approach.

In his book, "Notching Up the Nurtured Heart Approach", he shares how educators and parents can successfully handle difficult children without the need to drug them.  To read the words "difficult children" is different from dealing with them first hand.  Having been teaching for 17 years, handling little children is not always a party.  There will be bad days and that's the reality.  What's more, as people with personal lives, it's hard to be up and about and cheerful at all times in the classroom... Now put together the business of hoping to bring up happy, responsible children who love to learn (what your curriculum has prepared) within the hours, days, weeks and months that you are in their company and the business of building a happy, successful, healthy and prosperous life for yourself.  Tall order, don't you think?

Based on his experience as a difficult child, himself, Howard Glasser has deconstructed how the difficult child's mind works:  children are reinforced by energy.  What you give energy to, the child maximizes.  As well-meaning parents and teachers, we are quick to correct, with the proverbial stern voice and glare, and we wonder why after numerous attempts at pointing out their mistakes and giving alternatives, children continue their misconducts.  Howard points out that children unwittingly repeat the mistakes that we so abhor because at the subconscious level, they know that acting-out is the surest way to get our attention.  With this in mind, Howard teaches us (among many other things) that there are 3 Stands we must take if we are to detour from the path of negativity:

• Stand 1:  Say "no" to negativity.  In my own words, IGNORE the child's misbehavior.  (Howard clearly states though, that SAFETY SHOULD SUPERSEDE THIS STAND.  I couldn't agree more.)


• Stand 2:  Say "yes" to positivity.  Energize what the children do right.  (verbally describe what children did right).


• Stand 3: Clearly enforce limits (but do not nag or be too energetic in setting rules.)

What I loved about the book was that although it challenges primitive yet culturally conditioned modes of discipline and dealing with difficult situations and children, it "notches" up on what we have learned in the college of education (I'm sure as teachers, we have all heard of the term "positive reinforcement").

Although positive reinforcement and transactional analysis (I'm OK, You're OK) have been around for decades, a new way of looking at these positively healthy intentional methods of relating with human beings and importantly, with children, will always be welcome.  Howard Glasser's work is a loving testimony of the capacity of the human heart to rise above childhood difficulties (as he has often stated in the book) and turn those adversities into a gem that touches one's heart enough to stir us to action.

As a teacher and a mother, the first phase of implementing the NHA (Nurtured Heart Approach) is to use the approach on oneself.  Saying "NO" to the negative in one's personal life, with all its shades of grey, is the hardest thing to do.  Energizing what is good and saying "YES" to the things we do right challenges our old ways of thinking (pointing out our good side makes us puffed up and self-important, etc.).  Yet, with the rigorous discipline that M. Scott Peck exhorts all of us who want to put love into action (Love is as love does.), applying the NHA day in and day out, despite stumbling every now and then, is a testimony of our love and hope in humanity... And then I believe, if I do these things, my intentions, my loving prayers will go out to the children in my care.  And most of all, to my son and me.

Thank you, Howard Glasser! Thank you, Universe! Thank you, God! Thank you, my Students! Thank you, Mom! Thank you, Son! ... for helping me nurture my own heart.

Check out Howard Glasser's books here.  They will make a grrreaaat addition to your psychology, parenting and education books.